We went to the hospital. This time was different. I wasn't in labour. They prepped me for surgery, I had no pain. It felt surreal. Nobody was rushing around. Jason dressed in his scrubs. My mom waited in the hallway, just outside recovery. I was told that they may have to cancel my c-section, they didn't have my rare type of blood at the hospital. I was sad. I was ready to meet this new love of my life. They decided to go ahead anyway. I never asked what would happen if I needed blood. I trusted them.
Jason decided to watch the entire c-section. He told me what was going on. Things were different from Simon. Nobody was talking to me. they were whispering. My doctor told me that I was really damaged from my c-section with Simon. I didn't ask what that meant. I didn't want to know. I felt pushing. Lots of pushing. Jason told me they weren't pushing. I never asked what they were doing. I didn't want to know.
I heard "It's a boy." Jason and I both cried. Cooper cried. oh boy, did he cry. My doctor poked him over the curtain. He was beautiful and small. He looked just like Riley. The nurses took him to do his work up. There were more whispers. My doctor looked over the curtain to tell me that I had a second placenta. Cooper may have been a twin. We never knew this. More whispers. My doctor appeared again over the curtain. They were having a hard time. I was damaged. They couldn't close me back up. They were going to have to do a hysterectomy. They tried a little longer. They were successful. I met Cooper. Jason got to hold him first. I was still strapped down. Jason took him to see my mom. I listened. Waiting. I was wheeled into recovery. I was told I couldn't hold him or nurse him. I insisted. It was important to me. They reluctantly agreed. It was easy for me and him. I was thankful.
On January 19, 2009 my heart grew bigger. Our lives got better. Our lives became more complete. I was amazed.
I still am. Everyday.
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